What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
