I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
