so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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