Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
