I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
