My boss' voice literally gives me gas
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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