i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
