I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
