he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
