So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
