flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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