Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
