My hand turned me down
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
His hands were made for my vagina.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
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