were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
