Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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