Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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