the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I think a kid would responsible me up
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
