It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
