Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
