fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
