I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
