...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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