Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Randomize
