I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize