it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize