bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize