Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
