Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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