Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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