I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
