Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
