Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
