Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
