You made me cry and you don't even care
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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