Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Randomize
