You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Randomize
