How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
