we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Randomize
