I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
