TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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