WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
