Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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