Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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