I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
