where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Randomize
