I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
