im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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