Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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