I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
