you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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