That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
The struggles of a small town man whore
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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