super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
