Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
third nipple confirmed
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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