Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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