I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
