White coat. Heels.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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