u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Randomize
