you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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