It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
