its not stalking. its research.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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