i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
