Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
